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| I always thought these were for old people at the beach. |
The change of life! The Big M! Or if you really want to be euphemistic, simply ... The change... My cute little 67-year-old doctor tapped me on the knee and said, "Now, you can call yourself a grown-up!" Everyone knows I love new experiences, so really, this is cool with me. Actually, it's hot with me, but you get the idea.
Instead of throwing myself a birthday party, I've decided to throw myself a menopause party. No one is invited, of course - who'd want to be subjected to the unpredictable mood swings? But I do have a wish list of birthday presents, and until I find a shop called "Menopause 'R' Us" at which to register, this will have to suffice:
* A deluxe hand held personal battery operated misting fan ($16.95 on Amazon.com)
* Bedsheets made out of that same kind of high-tech moisture-wicking material that mountaineers use (try Patagonia or the North Face)
* Pajamas made of same
* Oh, heck, just a spare, dry bed to move into in the middle of one of those sweat-soaked nights
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| That's what I'm talking about! |
* A five-year supply of Replens
* If Natural News is to be believed, then I'll need a supply of Black Cohosh, Wild Yam, and Ginseng. And flax seeds. All organic, if possible.
* Last but not least, in the increasingly unlikely event I ever have sex again, an extra large bottle of Astroglide. (Oh wait. I already have that. I'm such an optimist!)
I have wondered about this for several years now. It's nice that the limbo is over. The Big M is on. Just another in a long line of life adventures, as far as I'm concerned.
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